Keep Calm and Stop Abusing

 

keep abusing

We Punjabi’s take a great pride in Abusing others. Yes, We may not mean it literally, but Literally speaking it’s gross when we think about the literal meaning of a few of them.

 

Do the people who say it, mean it? Do they think twice when they say the same to their Friends in a Friendly way.  Some times a Father would say the same to his Son, but does he actually want or for even a moment think bad about his Wife/Daughter through her son. The Answer is NO.

 

But then why?

Probably it’s a part of growing up in North India, listening either to someone abusing in family or in markets, Social gatherings etc. is quite common

I’m not sure why but I always detested this!

 

When, I was in class 1st (6 Years) I was packed off to a Hostel, Bishop Cotton School, Simla.

 

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Main Building of my School, Bishop Cotton School, Simla

No, No, I didn’t abuse till then, but yeah was naughty and my Father wanted me to be a BIG Man, A Disciplined Man, a Man of Values, so he sent me to the Best hostel in India.

In a Session we used to stay in Hostel for 9 months (March-Nov) and came back only for 3 months (Dec-Feb)  for Winter Vacations. I didn’t even pick abusing then.

However as soon as I came back for class 5th which was the first soft step of stepping into Senior Dormitory and Senior school I started abusing a bit as the environment changed completely post moving to the senior dorm.

However, Our Dormitory Warden Mrs. Rosalind Barretto was a Sweet lady but Strict as far as abusing was concerned. And if somebody complained of another student abusing then her favourite punishment was to ask the Abusing Student to apologise in writing, and that too by writing 100 times or 500 times.

 

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This Pic of me along with my Sister Sumrita was clicked around 1989, the time I was in Remove C. The same time when I started abusing

 

Once I casually abused a dear friend Deepak Bhalla in jest and he complained to Mrs Barretto.

 

Henceforth, I was summoned in her room & was asked if I had abused Deepak. I nodded my head in Affirmation.

She asked me to write “I shall never abuse again” for 200 times on coming Sunday.

On that Sunday morning when all my friends were playing wearing Home Clothes, here I was in my dorm “Remove-C” writing “I will not abuse again”. By the time I reached 100th line, I got a bit uneasy and wanted to be with my friends outside who were playing and my mind started playing Bluff games.

Thereon, after every 3 lines.. I would miss 3 or 4 serial numbers and then write again. So I finished those 500 lines by writing just 300 times.

We Students think that we are smart but forget our teachers are smarter and Mrs. Barretto got hold of it and asked me to sit in her home and write it again for 500 times. Which I did till 200 times and then started feeling restless and humiliated. Aakhir 10 Saal ka baccha tha.

Mrs  Barretto saw through me and asked me to write 50 more and then I could leave.

What a Relief it was to me and to my Thumb which was looked as it has got dented by pressing the pen for so long.

Yes, I stopped abusing then.

 

When I came back and settled in Delhi I saw every one abusing, from my 4 year old cousin to my 70 Year old grand uncle. They did it with aplomb.

What really turned me off was when I saw my cousins 2-5 years younger using the same language and that too in front of my sister.

This is what I was not able to stand and asked them to stop abusing in front of my Sister atleast.  My Sister was their cousin too. When they did not agree to me I used to walk out of the room and did not play with them.

I was called all sorts of things, from being Dheela to Sissy to Jhalla.

It did hurt, but then what could I do?

As time passed and my schooling finished, the very words I detested started flowing from my tongue too, a Bit hesitatingly, but they did flow. My vocabulary had many, but thankfully my Tongue was restricted to 2 most common ones.

In past years I tried to control it, more so when I was in Home with my family, but kahi kabhi ek do nikal hi jaati thi and I used to really feel bad about it.

Anyways, things did continue and life did go on.

But, a few days back while driving I started talking to myself (I do it often, or shall I say, it happens automatically and there I Talk to the person who knows me the best. Myself)

And I started Deliberating with myself on “Why do I abuse?”

It started from MayaPuri Chowk and by the time I covered 10 Kilometers and Reached Delhi Haat, it had been decided that I shall not abuse thereon.

It’s been 5 Months to that I have not abused and hopefully shall continue for life.

By abusing someone, We are not only Abusing him, but also every Girl, Women and ourselves.

Today on Mother’s Day, I decided to write about it because after Bhen the Next most common Gaali is on Mothers.

I am sharing this Decision of mine with you not that I want you to do the same, but atleast think about it.

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Paanch Rupye ka Namak Paara-Karam Ka Khel

A Short Experience on how people Don’t Walk the Talk. This is Story of a ShopKeeper who Show offs that he believes in Karma, but Actually does not.

A few Days ago a Friend posted on Eatlo, enquiring about where he can find Bhaji Boxes in Old Delhi or Karol Bagh.

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And the Query transported me back by 20 years to a wonderful World, when we stayed in Karol Bagh.It was time when there was not even one day when we didn’t have Matthi, Namak para , Gurr ki Mithai, Tossa at our place.

One reason was that we really loved it and also because the best shops were near our place.
So, as soon it finished, I would pick up my Blue Coloured, Hero Ranger Cycle and rush to grab some more.

So, when it was asked on Eatlo, I could not resist commenting and advising to get it from Mohan Sweets in Desh Bandhu Gupta Market, which was my favourite shop there.

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One more reason of this being my Favourite shop was that the Pot Bellied Aged owner would smile seeing me… And would always give an extra piece of Mithai in my hand… irrespective if I bought for Rs 10 or Rs 50.

Today, I was in Karol Bagh for some Work. And as it was Lunch time, I was feeling hungry.
So, I went to Om Corner and had Bhature Cholle.  And then to have some Meetha, headed to nearby Sindhi Corner for Rabri Faluda.

After having my fill, When I was about to come back…… I remembered the post and headed to Mohan Sweets.

The Shop looked the same and brought back many memories.

Even the Salesman behind the Counter was same.

I asked him to pack a 1 Kg Box of Bhaji. In a minute the 48 year old Owner of the shop too joined him and I could remember seeing him Bees Saal pehle.

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(Pic of the Bhaji Box I Bought)

Meanwhile a Group of School Students came there. And one of them Stretched his hand with a Rs 10 note and asked for “Paanch Rupye ke Namak pare” And the Owner Said.. “Chal aage ja”.

Was really astonished to see this attitude of the owner. The kid with his head bowed down walked away.

And I wondered how a Shopkeeper can talk like this. Rather, he should have taken Rs 5 and give whatever the Weighing scale would have justified. Or at the maximum Smiled and  told his inability to do so.

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(The Boy who came to the Shop is one of these Smiling, Beaming School Children. Couldn’t resist capturing their Innocence)

Firstly, he should not have talked to the Kid like this, also who was his Current Consumer, and would have come back ordering MORE in the future. Just Like I have come today!!

 

What was more Ironical is that on the Weighing Scale of the Shop, a Doha of Kabir was written citing the Importance of Karma (Pic Attached)

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(Pic of the DOHA on the Weighing Scale of Mohan Sweets)

One thing is for Sure that he has lost the Customer in me, But If I go to his Place…. Would surely give him another Kabir  Doha… And probably ask him to paste it facing him

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(My planned Gift for the Owner of Mohan Sweets)

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My Towel Tells me…. Never Take Things For Granted!!

Seems….. Either I have gone Crazy or everything in my Bathroom has.
Nevertheless… I am Enjoying…and Learning too

Today It was chance of my Towel to teach me a thing….

My Towel Said “You use me rarely. May be for Just for 2 mins a day….. but still I am very very Important to you. Just Imagine… you have taken a Bath and you are without a Towel??”

So never Take things For Granted…..However small they are or however less they come in Contact with you….. You would realise it’s importance only when they are not with you.

#BathroomTales2

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